Saraswati praises your name even when you have no choice

“Patel, a 33-year-old woman who lives in Indiana, was accused of feticide – specifically, illegally inducing her own abortion – and accused of having a baby whom she allowed to die. The facts supporting each count are murky, but a jury convicted Patel and she was sentenced to 20 years in prison.” – Emily Bazelon, The New York Times Magazine

You had a name no one

could hold between their

teeth. So they pronounced

a sentence. Had you the choice,

you would pilgrim

to the Vermilion. It is no

Ganges, but you could dream for tiger’s

blood, for eight tributaries to open

into palms bearing girls unfettered. Before your baby

was a baby, could it float? Could

a stillness of breath be the air asking

for alchemy as you cast your life as a spell? These days

the world is looking for witches. You had been

searching for a day beyond labor, option

of pleasure, a choice unscripted

by parents, borders unscripted

by choices, a passing

salvation. You had not

expected this state – punishment

for a wrung womb. These days

you mourn: when you are free, you won’t

be able to bear the children you

wanted. In silence, you pronounce your name as if it came

from the crucible of river, from the first throat broken

into a cobra of desiccated streams.

from Miracle Marks (Northwestern University Press, 2019) by Purvi Shah